Friday, November 06, 2009
~ 7:49 PM ~
counting down to mid-terms, 16 days to start of mid-term.
time flies past quickly these few weeks.
the module syllabus r near completion or in fact, completed for most modules.
time to start mugging real hard.
i have 2 weeks before i face my final battle for this semester.
so far, things have been motivating.
but somehow, i believe more effort is needed on my part.
somehow, there's just some things of e human character i cant understand.
its getting kind of obvious where some things r driving towards.
perhaps im in no control.
but still, e thought of it does irritates me.
i tried to do wad i can.
but since it takes 2 hands to clap, as long as one refuses to do so, there is nth e other hand can do.
sometimes, it just takes a little more effort.
y cant it b done?
see how crude life is.
n rmbr how painful it felt.
cos those r what pushes me on.
e aim to prove to them that my dream is not impossible.
If we keep seeing things that we already know,
how do we see things that we do not know?
.sheena.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
~ 12:33 AM ~
been long since i last blogged.
e brain is filled with lots of demoralizing thoughts these few days.
until i saw sth that gave me e motivation.
yes, hard work paid off.
n i believe i can make more of such things happen.
i thought i was screwed.
but realised that it is never impossible unless i refuse to try.
it eventually served me well.
n im grateful for this timely encouragement.
browsing through my hard-disk drive few days ago.
happened to chance upon photos taken during graduation day.
nostalgic.
i miss my encouraging P and VP, teachers and friends.
im left with 20 days.
do it or screw it.
i only have one chance.
one major opportunity to turn things around.
anyway, on a side note.
elder sister and younger sister have been unwell these 2 days.
it seems like they have gotten food poisoning.
hope they get well soon.
it pains to see them in this state.
youngest sister going to Shanghai with school for 6 weeks soon.
great to let her have these experiences.
hope it'll help her to be more independent.
bet it'll b a gd learning journey for her.
new balance run on sunday.
feel so unprepared.
been almost 4 mths since my knee hurts frm running.
think my stamina is completely gone.
hopefully i survive it through.
10km run this sunday, 4km on 22nd nov =)
alright.
mugging time.
.sheena.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
~ 12:30 AM ~
its counting down process.
26 days to final exam.
Econs is gonna be the first paper.
followed by two chemistry papers.
then math last.
physics will be cleared before reading week.
time flies.
one semester is ending.
n i thought it was just yesterday when i stepped into school as a freshman.
there goes year 1 sem 1.
while expecting more challenges to come along e way, i gotta clear this semester well first.
drew up a revision timetable.
m sticking to it for the past 2 days.
revision process makes things much clearer.
n surfaced a few doubts as well.
time to clear them one by one.
second physics test seems much more manageable.
i just wish to get more than a pass.
perhaps a relatively gd pass will help make up for my previous test which wasnt as good.
either that or pray hard for gd assignment grade.
bell curve is making me fear of wadever might come.
last lab session of this semester tmr.
no more lab report after this weekend.
i'll miss hiding in labs for hours.
always enjoy lab process..
been feeling very tired recently.
alarm no longer wakes me up.
i need a louder alarm clock i think.
tat is if having it ring at a louder volume will wake me up frm my sleep.
turn on e mugging mode.
n its full steam all e way..
if they understood how terrible it feels, these wun b happening.
if they r willing to take a step back, mayb they will noe.
sadly, they r surrounded by their own ego and intelligence.
blinded by the competitiveness in them.
im forced to accept this reality.
since there's simply no other way out.
.sheena.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
~ 5:10 PM ~
im getting kind of turned off.
turned off by e ppl im encountering (not all but some).
no matter how much i try not to think, it just kept coming.
i was warned bout competitiveness.
yet din take it wit 100% seriousness.
now i see wad's coming n wad's to come.
e crude reality which i cant escape.
i just ask to b left alone.
leave me to work things out.
cos i believe i can overcome it n get myself out of e problems.
recently, an email threw me into a decision-making process.
double major application for FASS is now opened.
should i or should i not?
m i up to it?
will i fail to cope especially when things r uncertain right now?
i hate deciding for fear things might go wrong.
i need more than mere confidence to move on.
i feel like im stopping here, struggling to move yet unable to.
there's so much i wish to do, yet so little i managed to do.
who says its e best time of my life?
i miss JC life.
miss my study mate who always mug hard wit me, n encourage me.
never fail to think back bout our mugging days together.
e chats during study breaks, e jokes we had, e running sessions we had.
i totally miss studying wit her.
cos now, there's no one to do these wit me.
i find difficulty in differentiating who's true and who's not.
i find it hard to accept y human nature are so varied.
i wish i can see, and i wish i know.
cos e pain frm seeing things wrongly, is immense.
y does this place seems so cold n lonely?
in fact, it never feels e same anymore.
.sheena.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
~ 1:35 AM ~
the process of doing lab reports.
done with both lab reports.
initially thought i will not be able to finish cos of shifting of house.
but in e end, completed it on time.
great.
one important agenda down for now.
2 more lab reports left for this semester..
lab report was tough initially.
quite hard to generate ideas.
but getting a hang of it make things easier.
bringing in JC experiment errors helps as well =)
time to start working on tutorials..
somehow, dealing wit human nature is not my forte.
it never was and will never be.
.sheena.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
~ 8:54 AM ~
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins
...
When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's every built to last
You're in ruins
(21 Guns - Green Day)
.sheena.
Monday, October 12, 2009
~ 1:34 AM ~
finally done with shifting of house.
have not finished packing all my stuffs.
but majority are done.
tired frm all the climbing, carrying n packing.
many things left undone.
heading back to sch tmr for normal lessons.
at least now, got one less thing to trouble bout.
more time to revise, study n get lab reports done.
lots of catching up to do.
alright.
shall generate some lab report discussion points before sleeping.
.sheena.
the process of doing lab reports.
